Overcoming Fear while Being a Dad

Hello and Welcome Home!

Overcoming fear while being a dad isn’t as easy as it looks to be on paper, is it? In fact, when it comes to actually embracing the role of being a dad, we dads tend to get lost in the things of our own imagination.

We tend to overthink our role. We assume one thing when it’s actually something completely different. Don’t get me wrong it is important to understand and accept our role. In the lives of our children, but we lose ourselves, don’t we?

Sometimes we get so wrapped up in our own worries that we lose sight of the things that matter most. We get so focused on trying to teach our kids the important things in life that we forget to embrace those little moments sent from above, encouraging us to look beyond what we see.

Looking beyond what we see while being a dad

There is a story about two sons and a father. Let me share it briefly.

There once were two sons who loved their father. Of course, I’d start with that, and no it’s not that story. It's entirely different, LOL. These two boys loved doing things to show their father just how much they loved him, and they loved it, even more, when he responded in kind. However, this father rarely saw what his two sons had to offer.

One summer, in particular, while their father was gone for work, the older son saw an opportunity to really do something special. There were some movable trees in the backyard that meant more than anything to the father because he’d spent so much time nurturing them. The father had them in their place, and the two sons knew how much he loved those trees.

Trees in a row!

Well, the older son thought, ‘I have a great Idea, let's show dad we love his tree too, maybe then he will show us his love.’ You see, they thought he loved the trees more than he loved them.

Creating something more

So, together they turned those trees into something more. Instead of having them all in their specific places they created a beautiful oasis and built a sanctuary for their dad. After being gone for a summer for work, the dad came home. The first thing he did was check on his trees.

What he saw was both astounding and enraging at the same time, but the father could not see past the rage. He could not see the intricacy of what the two sons had done. All he knew was that the trees were not where he’d left them.

Gardens of Bury St. Edmunds

The father was so enraged that he destroyed everything his two sons had done. The father took what he saw as an act of selfish arrogance that he could not see the beauty of the gift his sons had given him. The gift they offered their father was meant as a special place for the three of them.

The older son’s heart broke and he never really spoke to his father again. The younger son tried his best to get through to his father and show him what he’d done, but the father could only see the rage within himself. The astounding sanctuary was lost and the younger while still around, held resentment in his heart.

In his eyes, the father had both destroyed what they had built for their father and drove his brother away with one act. Their family was never the same.

Accepting the deeper meaning

While this story may not seem as if it could be true, the reality is there is truth in the message is presented. There is actually a part of this story that did in fact happen. The message behind the story is one of overcoming fear. Not fear of teaching the wrong thing, as mentioned before the story. It is a message of reaction.

Hidden Tree Cave, I wonder where that is?

Being a dad comes with a huge responsibility, and some fears come with being in that role. There is a choice that we have to intentionally make with every situation we have to work through with our children. Yes, we do have to teach them right from wrong. Yes, there is the expectation that we will show them who they are.

More importantly, though, the example we set for our children as they are growing up will reflect upon the way we react to the situations we are placed in. Think of it this way, if the father in the story had taken the time to step back, he would have seen the beauty in the gift his sons had offered.

Instead of unknowingly rejecting the gift from his sons, the father, while still dealing with the fact that they were ‘his trees’ could have found a deeper meaning. He could have seen a deeper relationship with his sons.

Embrace A Loving Moment!

All our children really want, is to be loved and to love. Sometimes being a dad comes with overcoming fears, but it also comes with looking beyond the surface and into the heart of the matter. If all we do is take things on the surface level, we lose the opportunity to see the beauty that comes along with the role we play as dads.

Living by faith, with our family;

M.E.