Being A Teachable Dad: What about Me?

Hello and Welcome Home!

Have you ever been driving down the road, laying in bed, or in the shower and had wandering thoughts? I know it sounds cheesy and maybe kind of creepy, but I mean like Serious. Wandering. Life-Changing Thoughts.  They do happen and are all part of being a teachable dad. These thoughts really make you STOP. DROP. and WANT TO ROLL. Well, not really, but they could...

Thoughts like; 

What should I be doing with my life? 

Am I really doing the best I can?

Does my life really even have a purpose?

Can I get a break please from the daily routine?

Will I ever feel better about that choice I made the other day? Yeah, you know the choice...

These thoughts are all a part of being a dad, if you aren't having them, I'd begin to question a few things. However, that is not entirely the purpose of this post. 

There is something I have struggled with for quite some time and it is often one of my wandering thoughts. It's a doozy too.  I tend to be the type of Dad that forgets to take care of himself. I tend to push my needs and wishes to the back of my mind, not because I know they will never be met, but because I know they will be. I know that doesn't make sense, why would anyone do that. Truthfully, it happens more than you might think in some cases and then in others, not so much. 

When my mind wanders to that place the question that is always on my mind is really simple.  I am sure there have been times when all you other dads have felt the same way too. The question (s)...

WHEN DO I GET TO THINK ABOUT ME? 

WHAT ABOUT THE THINGS I WANT?

DO I EVER GET THAT ME TIME?

Sounds selfish, doesn't it? You may also be thinking, it's my job to put the family and my wife ahead of everything else and you would be right on both accounts. The reality is though, that if we are being a teachable dad, we need to be selfish sometimes. We need to make time for ourselves and we need to ensure that we take care of our needs as well. 

There are times when I am legitimately over exhausted. There are times when I am completely overwhelmed by the things going on around me. Sometimes its work, sometimes its adulting, sometimes it is my compassion, but more often than not, its because I haven't taken time to take care of myself. 

I'm impulsive, I'm stubborn, and I have this thing, my mind tells me I need to be giving My everything even when I don't have everything to give. It's stressful for me and I know it is for some other dads out there too. I get so caught up in helping my kids, or the fact that my wife has the kids all day and needs a break when I get home, that I don't give my mind and body time to decompress as I should. Here is a reality check...

IT IS OKAY TO STEP BACK AND THINK ABOUT YOU FOR ONCE.

IT IS OKAY FOR YOU TO SAY, I NEED A FEW MINUTES.

IT IS OKAY FOR A DAD TO CARE ABOUT THEIR  NEEDS TOO.

You want to know what I eventually ended up having to do? Its kind of funny, but I literally had to have my wife tell me and push me to find hobbies of my own. These hobbies were really hard to find and if my wife would not have pushed me, I would never have tried them. My wife literally told me not to come home for a bit after the day job so I could unwind. Now, it's not an everyday thing, but that's what I do. 

I work on my hobbies right after work or right after the kids go to bed, I make the time to think about myself for at least 1 hour a day and then the rest of the time; It's all about the family. It's all about everyone else. Believe it or not that 1 single hour a day, really makes a difference. It really gives me the chance to think about me for a bit. 

If you haven't figured it out yet, being a teachable dad includes teaching yourself that you need to take care of you just as much as you need to take care of your spouse and children if you have them. So here is a challenge...

FIND A WAY TO GIVE YOURSELF 5 HOURS THIS WEEK FOR YOU.

Yep, that's right, 5 hours this week. It can be one hour a day for 5 days, 2.5 hours two days this week, or even 5 hours one day; Whatever you can arrange with your significant other and your family. Then share in the comments or in the post on Facebook. Next posting I will share more about how this change has made me a better dad and a better person, but more importantly, how it's renewed my faith.

Living by Faith, with our Family; 

M.E.