Being a Dad with a Plan?

Hello and Welcome Home!

Sometimes being a dad can lead to crazy experiences, huh? There have been some really fun experiences and then there have been some experiences I don't really care to talk about.  As fathers to our children we always want to do what is best for them. The hurtful truth of the matter is, there will be times that we do not succeed.

I am often reminded by my 5-year-old son that "It's just not fair." Now normally I would be more than willing to explain to him that life is not always going to be fair, all we can do is deal with it. However, I have a sensitive son who inherited the introverted parts of his mother and father and none of the extraverted aspects. So, I'm learning that I can't really be that blunt with him.  

The other night I realized something I hope to be significant in our attempts to raise our boy the right way. Being a dad, sometimes gives us those monumental revelations that will change everything.  Wait, that doesn't actually happen does it? Anyway, back to the "revelation." 

My Son and youngest daughter really made a "Big Bad Choice," as we call them, and really lost it when he had to face the disciplinary action that came after. To keep it short, there is a courtyard outside our apartment we let our kids play in as long as we can see them from the window. We looked out the window and could not see them.

Neither one of them understood what my wife and I considered to be the magnitude of this choice and the possibilities that came with it. They completely lost it when we took their game toys way and sent them to bed early. They were screaming and yelling, and it was all uncalled for, we knew they were super tired. Finally, I put him up on his bed held him tight, and told him this….

"You know how you sometimes have bad dreams and get scared of certain things."

Crying uncontrollably, after my third or fourth time stating this, he said "yeah" with his sad puppy dog face.

I replied, "Well, when mommy and daddy couldn't see you playing in the window, we got scared, really scared. We could not find you! What do you think it would feel like if you could not find us."

Still crying, he says "Proly predy scared worse than with the bad dreams"

"See, so we don't want to break rules, they help keep mommies and daddies from getting scared and to keep little boys and girls like you safe." He's 5 guys, so keep that in mind here. 

Sniffling now, in a voice of innocence, "umm, okay, can I have my game back now and come out of the bed."

Seems like an epic fail, doesn’t it, but I don't really think it was. He still stayed in his bed but got some crayons and a picture to color so he could calm down a bit more. The plan, to begin with, was a little more on the disciplinary side of things, but once he began to calm down a bit, it became more of a teachable moment and finally, a small compromise to finish of the talk.

You see, the lesson being a dad here reminded me of is that sometimes our first plan of action isn't the best one, sometimes even the back-up plan isn't the best one.  We can't always go about raising our kids the same way we would our other kids, there is always a different approach to each one that works better. With my youngest, I sat her down, told her she made a bad choice and she was sorry and even tried to help explain it to the son too. This girl is 3 guys, crazy huh!

So really the jest of this post is more about knowing our children, reading how they respond to things, and then adapting our plan to offer each one the best guidance possible.  

"Remember the things I have done in the past. For I alone am God! I am God, and there is none like me. Only I can tell you the future before it even happens. Everything I plan will come to pass, for I do whatever I wish." - Isaiah 46:9-11

Living by Faith, with our Family,

M.E.